Apparently They Crucified The Wrong Jesus

Apparently They Crucified The Wrong Jesus

27th May 2014 // By Yael Brender // Dangerous Ideas

Ladies and gentlemen, please hold your scepticism. Fourteen years ago, a Bible was seized from an unnamed gang of historical artefact smugglers that claims that Jesus wasn’t really crucified. The book was seized during a raid.

According to the Bible, Jesus was crucified between two thieves, one of whom was named Judas Iscariot. This ‘new’ version claims that Judas Iscariot was crucified in the place of Jesus the Messiah. It also claims that Paul was an impostor. 

This new gospel also says that Jesus wasn’t the Son of God, he was just a plain old prophet and he ascended to heaven alive, although doesn’t elaborate on how that is possible. 

This ‘new’ Bible (assuming it is authentic) is worth $28 million because of its age, and Tehran authorities insist that it is authentic because you know, it’s written in Aramaic.

In this ‘new’ Bible, Jesus foresees the coming of the next prophet in the Gospel of Barnabas. It is widely believed that during the Council of Nicea, the Catholic Church picked and chose which gospels to include in the Bible we know today. And the Catholic Church has been in contact with the authorities that confiscated this Bible, asking to examine it.

Hopefully this isn’t an excuse for everyone to start saying ‘I told you so’ to everyone else. True believers will probably remain true believers. Maybe it will prompt people to ask questions—certainly people will continue to poke fun at the entire institution of religion—but with a bit of luck, this discovery will remain in the historical realm for the time being.

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