BOOKS THAT CHANGED YOUR LIFE #4: A TIME OF LOVECRAFT AND PROPHECY

BOOKS THAT CHANGED YOUR LIFE #4: A TIME OF LOVECRAFT AND PROPHECY

29th August 2013 // By Ryan Brooks // Must Read
I used to smoke a lot of weed. Like, a lot of weed. My roommates and I kept no shortage of bongs, pipes and papers in the house. Paperclips were strewn everywhere, for reasons only another stoner might fathom. Wake-and-bakes, bucket-bongs and fat blueberry-flavoured blunts were regular fixtures of my day-to-day existence, though to what extent I can only wildly speculate. Looking back on that hazy time in my life, I realise now that I was unhappy, though I never stopped smoking long enough for this realisation to sink in.

Young males were not generally trained to understand their own emotional states in the post-Seattle-grunge era that I grew up in, and I was no exception to that rule. I am glad that social consciousness seems to be shifting in favour of a more emotionally aware, pseudo-androgynous male archetype in the modern age. God bless your long term pop impact, David Bowie. At any rate, I’m sure most of us are aware that repressed emotions have a habit of finding a way to the surface. We could no sooner deny our hearts the act of beating. And so, my malcontent emotional state led me to desperately cram substances into the gaping maw of my soul, uncertain what it was that I truly needed to fill the void inside me. Over time, I would start a self-destructive relationship with a bisexual film-student who was also sleeping with my roommate-slash-dealer. I would stand by as strange emotions writhed inside me that I hadn’t experienced in years, eager to desperately worm their way to the surface. At night, I would read tales of Lovecraftian horror and listen to Cradle of Filth in my fragile emotional state. And I would stand by as my coked up roommate desperately battered his face against our bathroom mirror, pleading the ailment of demonic possession. They were hard times, but looking back it’s easy to see how and why the dam needed to break. And break it did, when one day someone handed me a book called ‘The Celestine Prophecy.’ Now, let me start by saying that ‘The Celestine Prophecy,’ is far from the best written book you will ever read. It is a fairly simple spiritual narrative which takes the reader through some simple metaphysical truths about existence. But for me, it was the right book at the right time. It set me free from the idea that ‘things just happened.’ It opened me up to the idea that I could choose to create a better existence for myself. The Celestine Prophecy reminded me that I was not a victim, but had a choice in the way my life played out. Reading ‘The Celestine Prophecy’ helped me break free of my patterns. It led me to study energetic healing at a retreat in Cooranbong. It led me to develop a newfound sense of peace and serenity, and allowed me to believe in something larger than myself. It led me to endeavour to express my spirituality through words, and to write you this love letter. The man that gave me ‘The Celestine Prophecy’ was the roommate that had been sleeping with the girl I had been seeing. A man who systematically threw himself through shop windows along the Newcastle foreshore and afterwards left me to pick up the pieces. I’m not sure I can ever thank him enough for the gift that he gave me.

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