SUPERPOWER DILEMMA

SUPERPOWER DILEMMA

25th November 2013 // By Amanda Kerr

Whenever I play a frisky game of truth or dare, someone inevitably asks me “If you could have a superpower, what would it be?” The obvious considerations are manipulating time, reading minds, flying, telekinesis, invisibility, healing powers, super strength, immortality, telepathy and omnilinguilism. These all seem very appealing, but I maintain that these all come with an incredible burden, particularly reading minds. When you ponder your own answer to this, I urge you to consider atmokinesis.

Atmokinesis is the ability to control the weather. For all purposes, I believe this gives you a lot more power than time travelling. Imagine the guy you have a crush on is taking another girl to the drive ins on a date. If you summon a blizzard, the fuckers won’t be able to see a thing. If you’re called into work on a day you have a party, make some fire to cause trackwork and block roads. A perfect excuse is made. If you’re drunk with a hot person and want them to take their clothes off, make it unbearably hot. Atmokinesis will make your dreams come true.

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