Asian Brothels: What Kind Of Cars Do Men Who Visit Them Drive?

Asian Brothels: What Kind Of Cars Do Men Who Visit Them Drive?

27th March 2014 // By Oscar S. // The Instructions

They call our end of the street in Newtown, Sydney, the ‘ass end’; it may or may not have anything to do with the brothel that’s a few doors down from our office.

Now, we can’t tell you the name of this brothel, (though I can give you directions if you e-mail) so for the purposes of this story let’s call it ‘The Golden Fist’.  The ‘Fist’ is an Asian brothel; it’s clean, well appointed, the service is good, the women are gorgeous, the beds are soft, the showers run hot and strong and you can stay in them lathering up as long as you want. The towels are fluffy, even the madame is gracious, they accept all major credit cards and the name of the place is never on there - it appears as a generic PTY LTD. It’s discreet and pricey but worth it. The ‘Fist’ is certainly at the upper end of the market. We can’t tell you how we know any of this; let’s just call it ‘investigative journalism’…

Anyway, this is not about me or my credit card bills, the question we’re investigating is this, and it’s the question on everyone’s mind: what cars do men who visit up-market Asian brothels drive?

Finding out meant sitting in the office at night for a week looking at who was coming and going. And what they were coming and going in.

So here’s the list, the ‘Top 10 Cars Men Who Go To Asian Brothels Drive’: 

Hondas, mostly Civics, the ‘sport’ ones, late models, usually black, with options, like rims and a tint.

Mercedes Benz, again, all new-ish, mostly the bigger ones, a few C Class,  no A Class, the random ML.

Taxis – passengers.

Mazda 3s

Taxis, as passengers

Subaru Imprezas

4WD family wagons

4WD family wagons with child or booster seats

Toyota Camrys, Sportivo and Executive models

Tradesmans vehicles – light trucks, utes

Mitsubishi Lancer EVOs

Late model luxury and European cars, a mix of black Audis, BMWs and Lexuses (what is the plural of Lexus? Lexi? Linux???)

Corporate fleet cars, the things that salesmen drive; you can pick them, usually a current model family sedan, usually the executive model, look for the ‘lease management’ stickers.

Taxis. Drivers.

And what does this list tell you? Or more precisely, what does it tell you beside the fact that I sit in the office late at night drinking and watching people go to brothels? You can figure this out. Join the dots… corporate fleet, family 4WDs, Camrys, Mazda 3s… you know the story. We all know what’s going on here, we all know what this means. I’m not here to state the obvious. What I will say is that the Lancer EVO is a magnificent car and so is the Subaru, if you want to make fun of the people driving these quality vehicles or stereotype them, well, that’s your business. Shame on you.

Possible sequels:

- Why do the western men who visit Asian brothels look so damn nervous?

- Why do so many Asian men visit brothels in groups or pairs?

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