Sorority Girls Are Actually Getting Dumber

Sorority Girls Are Actually Getting Dumber

6th May 2014 // By Yael Brender // The Instructions

I didn’t think it was possible, but it seems that sorority girls are actually getting worse. And by worse, I mean dumber and more sex-obsessed.

 A leaked sorority letter surfaced on the Internet recently, and it was so bad that people started questioning if it was even real. It’s a senior’s sendoff letter to the younger “sloots” and it gives advice for doing college like a true sorority sister. The name’s been redacted (because parents would be tearing down her door to beat her up) so I’m going to call her Cindy.

Cindy has terrible grammar: “Alright, so me being a senior, not even knowing how the f*ck I made it this far in like without killing myself because I am a dumb f*ck”.

Without further ado, here is her advice:

Have sex, but be informed. Cindy says that dick pics are God’s gift to women and you should never let anything penetrate you before you see a pic of it. Also, that if you can’t get a guy to bust his load in your mouth in under seven minutes then you have a better chance of becoming a lesbian than getting dick. Which leads her to her other piece of ‘advice’…

Swallow that load, because spitting is for quitters. Also, Cindy crowned herself the dick-sucking queen and she’ll tear your hair out before she lets you take the title of her. Sounds legit.

Read the full letter here.